ABUSE Abuse comes in many forms, a few of which are sexual and emotional. Even neglect is a form of emotional abuse. The forms of abuse are so numerous that it would be impossible for me to list them all in this short article. Most people seem to feel that abuse is only physical but it is not. Often the person who is being abused is someone who has not been shown love by an authority figure. Normally it is a female who is on the receiving end of the abuse. If an abuser is challenged regarding their actions by the abused, the abuser will stop. But the pause in the abusive action may be a prelude to more to come. Abusers often are just like a bully, they are aggressive when they go unchallenged. If it is physical and the challenger is stronger than they are, the abuser will back down. But if the abuser continues to go unchallenged the problem will never be cured. In a marriage, it is the women who is the one who is most likely to be the physically weaker of the two. Force can be applied without using brute strength. Our words can be more punishing than our fist. Our words can cripple or they can lift others up. Both sexes are guilty of abuse therefore if you are one who abuses your spouse, then you need to look at yourself. Take the test. Go to 1st. Corinthians 13:4-8 Don't fail this test. You must read it. A person that will abuse someone or something is normally doing so because the abused accepts the abuse without retaliation. They often have actually formed a bond with the abuser. It may seem strange to hear this but it is true because of many reasons. The abused could be living in fear of retribution. Maybe it would be good if we first understood what love is. Read in 1st Corinthians 13:4-8 we are told what real love is. It is not at all jealous, but is patient and kind. It is not arrogant nor does it act unbecomingly. Love is not to become aggravated toward others. Love bears all things and believes all things, it does not administer unfair treatment, it does not find favor in untruths but rejoices in the truth. Love doesn’t seek self superiority. Love has hope in all things and will tolerate even disagreeable things. In counseling with a couple who are having difficult times in their lives, often it is discovered that neither one understands what love actually means. Not many seek good counseling or the advice they receive is given from a worldly view not from God’s word. Also it seems that people will ask their friends who say things but it is from them and their own experience or from what they feel and often the advice that is given only causes the problem to worsen. I have heard a women counselor tell a woman that she should divorce her husband. Look at Mark 10:6-9 where we are told in the beginning of creation, God created the male and female. 7 for this cause man shall leave his parents, 8 and the two shall become one flesh; consequently they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore as a result what God has joined together let no one divide. We must not just read over what God has said to us, but we must understand what the words mean. God said that when we marry we are no longer two individuals but we are one. So truly if your spouse hurts, you should hurt also and if you don't you should search your inner soul. Could it be that we do not fully understand what love really means? If so then we need to work on it. Hebrews 8; 10, In the New Covenant four provisions were made. The first was that God’s law will be written on believers’ minds and hearts. The Mosaic Law was written on stone tablets. The relationship that we as believers have is that His words are written in our hearts and will remain there forever. The state of mind of the person that is abused may be part of the cause of the degeneration in their mind because they can’t cope with what has happened to them. The pain of the attack would not be quit as painful if they were strong in their belief, they would find comfort in the love of God. They allow the abuse. If we are true believers in Christ we would not be the one who inflicts pain on another. The perpetrator is probably not a true believer in God, they just give lip service, like the ones in Matthew 7:22. They claim to have healed, or led others to the Lord, but were their converts like the fig tree, the fruit may wither and die. In the book of 2nd John 1: 6 we claim to be friends with our Lord yet we still walk in darkness. Is this you? Take the test. Corinthians 4-8