|
Love is described in the
dictionary as a strong feeling toward some one or
some thing. Nevertheless, the love in a marriage is
more than a strong feeling. Hormones can give you a
strong feeling, so can a pinch on the fleshy part of the
body. In the marriage, it is a special gift that God
has made for a man and woman. It is sacred and Holy.
Marriage is something that should not be taken lightly.
There does not seem to be a learning ground for us to
study marriage except by observation. Observation some
times can be discouraging. We try to learn as much as we
can, but if the examples that are available for us to
study are marriages that are not sanctioned by God, God
cannot bless them.
Turn to your bible where all
the answers are found for anything that you need to
know. Ephesians 5:21-33 is quite clear on how we should
conduct ourselves. As a married man and wife this verse
addresses first, the union of marriage as to the
obligation we have when we are joined by matrimony. We
are to have mutual submission to each other bearing each
other’s burdens. When we think enough of each other that
we mutually submit to each other in love, we should be
able to see the things that the other is having
difficulties with. If we belong to God, we are able to
enjoy our life and love for each other in a way that
most do not ever see or enjoy. The wife is to submit
herself or to be subordinate to her husband as she would
be to our Lord. She must honor and obey her husband, as
he is the head of the wife and family just as Jesus is
the head of the church. By doing these things that God
has ordained for us we are doing it in compliance with
God’s authority. Men, do not think that you have a place
of control, for control is not what God has given you
when He put you in the position of being offered up to
be readily enthusiastic about your place in the
marriage. My friend this carries an extraordinary
amount of pressure on us as the husband. We are the
ones that are responsible for the wife’s spiritual
growth and also caring for her physical being and all
her needs. This is to take place before we have any of
our needs or wants attended to. Now you may see why I
have said that we as husbands must earn the right to be
the head of the wife. Keep in mind that we are to carry
out our task with enthusiasm, with the same spirit that
Christ cared for the church. When the husband follows
the scripture, the wife should be more likely to be
cheerful about her duty to her husband. We again can see
in John 13:34 the command that we are to love one
another, just as Jesus has loved us. In 1st
John 2:15 we get a warning that we are not to love the
trappings of the world. If we do the love, of God is
not in us.
We must keep in mind that
marriage is a lifetime commitment. Many a marriage is
based on spur of the moment feelings. He or she is the
life of the party until after the party is over then we
find out that things change. They cannot keep up this
facade forever. Love, if directed by God will be a
wonderful thing. Marriage is something we have to work
at and as time passes, the work is less tedious. After
the newness of the marriage is given time to mature, the
effort is easier but we still have to work at it. We
must not act in a superior way over the other,
for we are one and we would be fighting with our selves
if we did. We need to share each other’s cares and
burdens and in turn share the joys with each other. To
be joyous we need laughter and harmony. Our love is not
to be conditional. Marriage is something we have to
work at. Remember, we were born into sin and it is our
nature. It is true that when married we are one joined
together under the bonds of matrimony. God has given us
a great gift. That gift is Love of each other and a
helpmate for the rest of our earthly existence. If we
are in conflict with our spouse, then we are in conflict
with ourselves. Do not turn your back on God. You would
be if you bicker and fight with your spouse showing the
exact opposite of love. Besides, you would be fighting
with yourself by doing so.
Do we not fear the wrath of
God that He will pour out on us for being disobedient?
God’s love is an unconditional love for us, but if we
turn our backs on Him, we can expect to be miserable
from the wrath that God will pour upon us until such
time as we ask for God’s forgiveness and repent for our
sin. When we obey Him, by seeking the word of God
that He has laid out for us in His love letters to us,
we will have the joy of marriage and the mutual love we
share with each other and with the love of our Lord and
Savior. It is far beyond our comprehension to
understand His love and the direction that He sends us
in. He loves us even though we seem to constantly fight
Him. Even though His words to us are showing us the way
to perfect harmony and a life, free of fear and strife.
Love in
Marriage
Page 2
I cannot say enough about
how pleased I am that God has chosen the wife that He
gave to me. She has been a true source of inspiration to
me. I could not imagine facing life without her. I
marvel at how kind and loving she is. I am not the
easiest person there is to love. The wives duties to her
husband are to submit to him in the Lord, honoring and
obeying him. To love is also a commandment and we are to
do so as unto the Lord, by doing so we obey and please
God. God not only requires those duties out of us but
also tells us that there is pain and suffering if we
neglect our assigned roles as husband and wife. When one
spouse compromises a marriage by not obeying God, it
stands to reason that the other spouse will suffer. For
if we are disobedient to God his wrath is sure to come,
therefore both parties to the union are submitted to His
wrath for we are one and we both suffer. If true love is
present then when one hurts so does the other.
The head of the family is
the seat of reason, wisdom and knowledge. God has given
the man a position as head of the family just as Jesus
was the head of the church. The woman was formed from a
rib taken from the man and fashioned into a woman to be
man’s helpmate. The husband has been given the burden of
rule over his wife and family and that is an awesome
responsibility. The pecking order, if you will, is God
first followed by the husband who must answer to God and
seek his face and be worthy of that position. If
he rules by implementing fear of one kind or the other,
he will answer for it to our Father who is in Heaven.
The husband will be held responsible for, and be
held accountable for, the comfort and protection of his
wife and family. Husbands are to love their wives as
Christ loves the church. Are we aware that when we are
the head of the house it is a position that is not an
easy one? It is not you do this and you do that as so
many men think when talking to their wives. They seem to
think that when the bible tells us that wives are to
submit to their husband that means they have to do what
ever suits our fancy, they are to jump when we speak.
Not so. The right to rule is some thing we have to
earn. A wife on the other hand thinks her duties lie
only in fixing a meal and trying to look pretty. This
is not at all the case. Not only should the wife keep a
clean house as though Christ himself will be there in
the flesh but also be the husband’s helpmate in all
areas. In our modern society where men and women have
taken to the work place, it has fallen on the women to
do not only their work away from home but also their
same work that is at the home with out any help or
consideration. This is not proper for she again is not
the slave but the helpmate and therefore the husband
should be helping her with the chores around the house.
Often it is wiser when young ones are still afoot that
she not be in the workplace but stays at home to nurture
them and do as a mother should do. The man should bond
with the children and especially the male children for
the first two or three years of their life in order to
give them the male image for their place in life. Do
not ever be afraid to hug and kiss your children. This
is something that they need. By seeing this they will
learn that these are the things that we do to show our
love to others. God did say in his word that Christian
men are to greet each other with a kiss. When love
shows through I have found that love is not selfish or
judgmental. In the Christian home, where love is shown,
happiness and harmony abound. The word says the wife is
the helper not the slave. God has included in His love
letters to us the formula for a happy marriage. Also see
John 13:34 A new commandments has been given, that we
are to love one another just as God has loved you, that
also, you should love one another.
Many of the problems in a
marriage are caused from the very onset of the union.
Neither one knows what to look for in a lifetime mate.
We must admit that many marriages start off with out any
regards to any thing except it is exciting to be on our
own. No thought is given to what is this other person
really like? What morals do they display? What are their
beliefs? Do they believe in our God? Do they believe in
Jesus, or have they come to the throne in humble
adoration? Remember just believing is not adequate.
Satan knows there is a God. 2nd Corinthians
6:14-15 tells us not to be teamed up with unbelievers,
for what do people of God have in common with sinful and
lawless people. Can light and dark exist together? What
harmony would there be between Christ and Satan? Is the
person one who loves the things of the world? 1st
John 2:15 do not love the world or the traps that are
there. If they love the attractions of the world then
they do not have the love of the Father in them. Romans
12:9, love is to be free of hypocrisy. Detest what is
evil, hold tight to what is good.
Love in
Marriage
Page 3
1st John 4:7-8
Beloved friends let us love one another. Love comes
from God to those who love Him and are born of God and
know Him. The ones that do not love and display kindness
to all do not know God for God is Love. Did not God show
how much He loved us when He sent His Son to die at
Calvary for our sins past, present and future? Did He
not do this out of love for us? This act cleared the way
for us to have everlasting life. Malachi 2:16 this verse
comes right from God saying He hates divorce. The word
hate could also reflect an enemy therefore making
divorce the enemy of God, for God said in Matthew 19:6
having been approached in verse 3 by Pharisees
(religious leaders trying to discredit Jesus) asking, is
it lawful for man to divorce his wife for any reason?
Jesus replied insomuch as they are no longer two, but
have become one by their marriage they have become one
flesh, therefore what God put together let no man
separate. Reading this we can see that God does not
only hate divorce, but he has commanded us not to
separate. If we look, in Luke 16:18 we will see that if
a divorce takes place and we remarry another we have
then committed adultery. God has made allowances for
divorce. We can find that in Matthew 5:32 where it
states that except for sexual impurity there is no way
that divorce should take place. After reading this and
you still want a divorce and decide to hold back your
willingness to submit your body to your spouse in order
to cause frustration and possible infidelity, you now
have caused yourself to sin both against our God and
your spouse. If the reason for wanting divorce is
physical then separation is appropriate if you both try
to reconcile. Love and marriage is a wonderful thing
created by God for us in order for us to complete our
lives. Saint Paul said that marriage is a distraction
from serving God. Only when we take time for our spouse
then that is time away from directing all our energy to
the things of God.
The believers are the Church
and the bride of Christ who is referred to as the
bridegroom. John 3:27-29 one of the followers of John
the Baptist approached him seeking answers. John
replying to him said our God in heaven arranges each
one’s task that He has set out for us to have. I, John
the Baptist, have been given the honor to prepare the
way of the Bridegroom who is our Lord Jesus and we who
are the followers are called the bride. This I do so
that every one will go to Him and not to me for you know
that I do not profess to be Him. Not I but Jesus is the
Messiah the Christ. I am here just to prepare the way
for Him – that is all. The crowds will go to the main
attraction. They will go to where the Bridegroom is. I
am the Bridegroom’s friend and I rejoice with Him in the
success that He has. God gave all of us to his son
Christ Jesus for safe keeping if we only yield to him.
We must be ready to serve God in the place where God has
put us, fulfilling the stations that God has chosen for
us what ever that may be.
All of those who are
believers in God the Father and the Son Jesus the Christ
make up the church. No denominational church can be
called “The Church” because the Church itself is made up
of all believers in Christ, no matter what church they
attend, to be fed the truths of God. Never rely on any
man for those answers. Always refer to the Bible
especially if there is any question in your mind as to
what you have been told. I cannot stress any stronger
than to tell you God said to seek and to study his
word.
If
for any reason you have not come to our Lord in
submission asking Jesus to come in and be the master of
your life admitting that you are a sinner, I deplore you
to do that now. Jesus will then give you the Holy
Spirit who will dwell in you until the day the Groom,
Jesus, comes to collect His bride, the church. I invite
you to spend some time with me in heaven in the house
that my Lord has provided for each and every one of us.
Romans
10:9 tells us to confess verbally that Jesus is Lord.
Believe in our hearts that God raised Him from the dead,
and then you shall be saved.
No matter what sin we have
committed God’s grace is sufficient to cleanse us from
any sin that we have committed except the sin of denying
the Holy Spirit. The existence of the triune God cannot
be ignored. So then if we are truly regretful of any
sin(s) we have, then The God who created us will no
longer be able to see the sin for it is concealed by the
blood of Jesus. See Matthew 12:31-32
lick He for Print
|