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Love is described in the dictionary as a strong feeling
toward some one or some thing. Nevertheless, the
love in a marriage is more than a strong feeling.
Hormones can give you a strong feeling, so can a pinch
on the fleshy part of the body. In the marriage, it is
a special gift that God has made for a man and woman.
It is sacred and Holy. Marriage is something that
should not be taken lightly. There does not seem to be a
learning ground for us to study marriage except by
observation. Observation some times can be
discouraging. We try to learn as much as we can, but if
the examples that are available for us to study are
marriages that are not sanctioned by God, God cannot
bless them.
Turn to your bible where all the answers are found for
anything that you need to know. Ephesians 5:21-33 is
quite clear on how we should conduct ourselves. As a
married man and wife this verse addresses first, the
union of marriage as to the obligation we have when we
are joined by matrimony. We are to have mutual
submission to each other bearing each other’s burdens.
When we think enough of each other that we mutually
submit to each other in love, we should be able to see
the things that the other is having difficulties with.
If we belong to God, we are able to enjoy our life and
love for each other in a way that most do not ever see
or enjoy. The wife is to submit herself or to be
subordinate to her husband as she would be to our Lord.
She must honor and obey her husband, as he is the head
of the wife and family just as Jesus is the head of the
church. By doing these things that God has ordained for
us we are doing it in compliance with God’s authority.
Men, do not think that you have a place of control, for
control is not what God has given you when He put you in
the position of being offered up to be readily
enthusiastic about your place in the marriage. My
friend this carries an extraordinary amount of pressure
on us as the husband. We are the ones that are
responsible for the wife’s spiritual growth and also
caring for her physical being and all her needs. This is
to take place before we have any of our needs or wants
attended to. Now you may see why I have said that we as
husbands must earn the right to be the head of the wife.
Keep in mind that we are to carry out our task with
enthusiasm, with the same spirit that Christ cared for
the church. When the husband follows the scripture, the
wife should be more likely to be cheerful about her duty
to her husband. We again can see in John 13:34 the
command that we are to love one another, just as Jesus
has loved us. In 1st John 2:15 we get a
warning that we are not to love the trappings of the
world. If we do the love, of God is not in us.
We must keep in mind that marriage is a lifetime commitment.
Many a marriage is based on spur of the moment feelings.
He or she is the life of the party until after the party
is over then we find out that things change. They cannot
keep up this facade forever. Love, if directed by God
will be a wonderful thing. Marriage is something we have
to work at and as time passes, the work is less tedious.
After the newness of the marriage is given time to
mature, the effort is easier but we still have to work
at it. We must not act in a superior way over
the other, for we are one and we would be fighting with
our selves if we did. We need to share each other’s
cares and burdens and in turn share the joys with each
other. To be joyous we need laughter and harmony. Our
love is not to be conditional. Marriage is something we
have to work at. Remember, we were born into sin and it
is our nature. It is true that when married we are one
joined together under the bonds of matrimony. God has
given us a great gift. That gift is Love of each other
and a helpmate for the rest of our earthly existence. If
we are in conflict with our spouse, then we are in
conflict with ourselves. Do not turn your back on God.
You would be if you bicker and fight with your spouse
showing the exact opposite of love. Besides, you would
be fighting with yourself by doing so.
Do we not fear the wrath of God that He will pour out on us
for being disobedient? God’s love is an unconditional
love for us, but if we turn our backs on Him, we can
expect to be miserable from the wrath that God will pour
upon us until such time as we ask for God’s forgiveness
and repent for our sin. When we obey Him, by
seeking the word of God that He has laid out for us in
His love letters to us, we will have the joy of marriage
and the mutual love we share with each other and with
the love of our Lord and Savior. It is far beyond our
comprehension to understand His love and the direction
that He sends us in. He loves us even though we seem to
constantly fight Him. Even though His words to us are
showing us the way to perfect harmony and a life, free
of fear and strife.
I cannot say enough about how pleased I am that God has
chosen the wife that He gave to me. She has been a true
source of inspiration to me. I could not imagine facing
life without her. I marvel at how kind and loving she
is. I am not the easiest person there is to love. The
wives duties to her husband are to submit to him in the
Lord, honoring and obeying him. To love is also a
commandment and we are to do so as unto the Lord, by
doing so we obey and please God. God not only requires
those duties out of us but also tells us that there is
pain and suffering if we neglect our assigned roles as
husband and wife. When one spouse compromises a marriage
by not obeying God, it stands to reason that the other
spouse will suffer. For if we are disobedient to God his
wrath is sure to come, therefore both parties to the
union are submitted to His wrath for we are one and we
both suffer. If true love is present then when one hurts
so does the other.
The head of the family is the seat of reason, wisdom and
knowledge. God has given the man a position as head of
the family just as Jesus was the head of the church.
The woman was formed from a rib taken from the man and
fashioned into a woman to be man’s helpmate. The husband
has been given the burden of rule over his wife and
family and that is an awesome responsibility. The
pecking order, if you will, is God first followed by the
husband who must answer to God and seek his face and be
worthy of that position. If he rules by
implementing fear of one kind or the other, he will
answer for it to our Father who is in Heaven. The
husband will be held responsible for, and be held
accountable for, the comfort and protection of his wife
and family. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ
loves the church. Are we aware that when we are the head
of the house it is a position that is not an easy one?
It is not you do this and you do that as so many men
think when talking to their wives. They seem to think
that when the bible tells us that wives are to submit to
their husband that means they have to do what ever suits
our fancy, they are to jump when we speak. Not so. The
right to rule is some thing we have to earn. A wife on
the other hand thinks her duties lie only in fixing a
meal and trying to look pretty. This is not at all the
case. Not only should the wife keep a clean house as
though Christ himself will be there in the flesh but
also be the husband’s helpmate in all areas. In our
modern society where men and women have taken to the
work place, it has fallen on the women to do not only
their work away from home but also their same work that
is at the home with out any help or consideration. This
is not proper for she again is not the slave but the
helpmate and therefore the husband should be helping her
with the chores around the house. Often it is wiser
when young ones are still afoot that she not be in the
workplace but stays at home to nurture them and do as a
mother should do. The man should bond with the children
and especially the male children for the first two or
three years of their life in order to give them the male
image for their place in life. Do not ever be afraid to
hug and kiss your children. This is something that they
need. By seeing this they will learn that these are the
things that we do to show our love to others. God did
say in his word that Christian men are to greet each
other with a kiss. When love shows through I have found
that love is not selfish or judgmental. In the
Christian home, where love is shown, happiness and
harmony abound. The word says the wife is the helper not
the slave. God has included in His love letters to us
the formula for a happy marriage. Also see John 13:34 A
new commandments has been given, that we are to love one
another just as God has loved you, that also, you should
love one another.
Many of the problems in a marriage are caused from the very
onset of the union. Neither one knows what to look for
in a lifetime mate. We must admit that many marriages
start off with out any regards to any thing except it is
exciting to be on our own. No thought is given to what
is this other person really like? What morals do they
display? What are their beliefs? Do they believe in our
God? Do they believe in Jesus, or have they come to the
throne in humble adoration? Remember just believing is
not adequate. Satan knows there is a God. 2nd
Corinthians 6:14-15 tells us not to be teamed up with
unbelievers, for what do people of God have in common
with sinful and lawless people. Can light and dark exist
together? What harmony would there be between Christ and
Satan? Is the person one who loves the things of the
world? 1st John 2:15 do not love the world or
the traps that are there. If they love the attractions
of the world then they do not have the love of the
Father in them. Romans 12:9, love is to be free of
hypocrisy. Detest what is evil, hold tight to what is
good.
1st John 4:7-8 Beloved friends let us love one
another. Love comes from God to those who love Him and
are born of God and know Him. The ones that do not love
and display kindness to all do not know God for God is
Love. Did not God show how much He loved us when He sent
His Son to die at Calvary for our sins past, present and
future? Did He not do this out of love for us? This act
cleared the way for us to have everlasting life. Malachi
2:16 this verse comes right from God saying He hates
divorce. The word hate could also reflect an enemy
therefore making divorce the enemy of God, for God said
in Matthew 19:6 having been approached in verse 3 by
Pharisees (religious leaders trying to discredit Jesus)
asking, is it lawful for man to divorce his wife for any
reason? Jesus replied insomuch as they are no longer
two, but have become one by their marriage they have
become one flesh, therefore what God put together let no
man separate. Reading this we can see that God does not
only hate divorce, but he has commanded us not to
separate. If we look, in Luke 16:18 we will see that if
a divorce takes place and we remarry another we have
then committed adultery. God has made allowances for
divorce. We can find that in Matthew 5:32 where it
states that except for sexual impurity there is no way
that divorce should take place. After reading this and
you still want a divorce and decide to hold back your
willingness to submit your body to your spouse in order
to cause frustration and possible infidelity, you now
have caused yourself to sin both against our God and
your spouse. If the reason for wanting divorce is
physical then separation is appropriate if you both try
to reconcile. Love and marriage is a wonderful thing
created by God for us in order for us to complete our
lives. Saint Paul said that marriage is a distraction
from serving God. Only when we take time for our spouse
then that is time away from directing all our energy to
the things of God.
The believers are the Church and the bride of Christ who is
referred to as the bridegroom. John 3:27-29 one of the
followers of John the Baptist approached him seeking
answers. John replying to him said our God in heaven
arranges each one’s task that He has set out for us to
have. I, John the Baptist, have been given the honor to
prepare the way of the Bridegroom who is our Lord Jesus
and we who are the followers are called the bride. This
I do so that every one will go to Him and not to me for
you know that I do not profess to be Him. Not I but
Jesus is the Messiah the Christ. I am here just to
prepare the way for Him – that is all. The crowds will
go to the main attraction. They will go to where the
Bridegroom is. I am the Bridegroom’s friend and I
rejoice with Him in the success that He has. God gave
all of us to his son Christ Jesus for safe keeping if we
only yield to him. We must be ready to serve God in the
place where God has put us, fulfilling the stations that
God has chosen for us what ever that may be.
All of those who are believers in God the Father and the Son
Jesus the Christ make up the church. No denominational
church can be called “The Church” because the Church
itself is made up of all believers in Christ, no matter
what church they attend, to be fed the truths of God.
Never rely on any man for those answers. Always refer
to the Bible especially if there is any question in your
mind as to what you have been told. I cannot stress any
stronger than to tell you God said to seek and to study
his word.
If for
any reason you have not come to our Lord in submission
asking Jesus to come in and be the master of your life
admitting that you are a sinner, I deplore you to do
that now. Jesus will then give you the Holy Spirit who
will dwell in you until the day the Groom, Jesus, comes
to collect His bride, the church. I invite you to spend
some time with me in heaven in the house that my Lord
has provided for each and every one of us.
Romans
10:9 tells us to confess verbally that Jesus is Lord.
Believe in our hearts that God raised Him from the dead,
and then you shall be saved.
No matter what sin we have committed God’s grace is
sufficient to cleanse us from any sin that we have
committed except the sin of denying the Holy Spirit. The
existence of the triune God cannot be ignored. So then
if we are truly regretful of any sin(s) we have, then
The God who created us will no longer be able to see the
sin for it is concealed by the blood of Jesus. See
Matthew 12:31-32
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Jim Brown |
